Mérge à trois

How are people such horrible drivers? I understand that some people, such as Asians, women, and folk originating from states starting with the word "New" (under this system, our nation's capital is now New Washington D.C.), cannot help it, but I seriously think that there needs to be some sort of more selective process in gaining a driver's license.

Driving down to see my sister involves several construction areas, and I don't think people understand how to merge. Even though the sign says "use both lanes until merge point," no one gets that if they form a single file as opportunities become available, there is no longer a set merge point and traffic can flow through the narrowing without interruption rather than having 2 lines and stopped people trying to edge into the moving lane, causing that lane to stop as well. However, just last night I realized how foreign that concept is to people.

We were in the usual back up from people's lack of knowledge, and I used the stopped traffic to dick with my ipod, as I was traveling without a personal assistant to DJ and send txt messages for me. Just before the merge point, we were moving slowly, and I just let the car idle forward so the 3 cars in the other lane could pull forward. Not being used to someone actually allowing them in, they hesitated, and the 3rd care, seeing that I was not going, swerves over and jams on the gas, then the brakes, effectively blocking out the other 2 people trying to merge and making everything pointless.

On one major highway by my house, they're clearing all the brush back about a hundred feet from the road for one reason or another, something about needing more room for billboards. Anyways, they have everyone merge down to one lane, which usually goes fairly smoothly (all assholes considered,) and we all go our way down the road at a reasonable rate of speed. Until we approach someone working. Keep in mind this is not work where men in orange shirts are right next to you in danger of being sideswiped, everything is well back off the road. But we need to look, watch, rubberneck, and to take it all in, slow down to 15 miles per hour. More spectacular is even when the crews have gone home for the day, the phenomenon continues as people continue to slow to gawk at the still equipment.

Also: If a stoplight for whatever reason quits working, it will often default to flashing red and flashing yellow. Flashing yellow means proceed with caution (aka "Warning! Cross traffic has a flashing red and don't know what to do!") Flashing red should be treated just like a stop sign. I came to one the other day, it was chaos. People with a flashing red just driving slowly through the intersection, people with the yellow stopping while informed drivers at the red were also stopped.

I want to start imposing a traffic system that involves me running you off the road, knocking on your window, demanding your license and promising to return it when you've written a letter explaining why you lack the skills necessary to operate a motor vehicle and how you plan to correct the problem. After receipt of this letter, I will continue to hold your license until I feel like dealing with rummaging through the pile of confiscated licenses and mailing it (your license could come back in a day, could be 3-8 weeks), and return your license.

-imagined conversation-
"Hey dude, want to come hang out?"
"Can't. That Goody dude has my license...I drove 4 blocks with my turn signal on."

Oh, and some dude ran a red, pulled in front of a truck, causing it to swerve head on into my family's car. He also sucks at driving and will soon face consequences, whether they be with the law, litigation, or a concrete saw.