Yeah, I haven't been blogging again, although I've been told that having an online reference to the Shaw boys so that people can prove to their friends that they actually do exist is a help.
Jacy's home, so I've been spending a lot of time cooking and cleaning, although people bring meals, which is nice. Jacy doesn't so much create the extra work as I actually have to keep up after my own messes so she can navigate the house.
But today I finally found what I had been waiting for...the Good family treasure. Previous searches had yielded only half a Goodwill's worth of well worn socks and undershirts, ties from the 70's, my dad's collection of true crime novels, his wisdom teeth, and an overflowing four drawer filing cabinet that after removing all the maps, vacation brochures and other paperwork long rendered obsolete by the internet, was decimated to one half drawer of important documents and one drawer of old newspapers. While moving said filing cabinet, I found it in the corner of my parent's closet behind 14 containers of generic Gold Bond, stacks of bar soap, shampoo bottles and disposable razors...a box with a combination lock on it.
I could pry the box open slightly, enough to see more disposable razors, but that just had to be a ruse. I managed to get 2 of the 4 bolts off of the latch, but the other 2 would not budge. I chiseled at the weld, but couldn't get it to peel off. I fruitlessly tried sawing through the lid around the latch. I tried to knock the pin out of the hinge to no avail, so I found a grinder and took it to to bolts. Then I went and got a pair of sunglasses should a spark land in my eye. After my second attempt was aborted due to fear of a spark nesting in my hair, I got a hat, and after catching a few live ones on my feet, put on jeans and shoes. My fourth attempt was pay dirt, I slowly ground off the head of the bolt, and, not equating 2 minutes of showering sparks with friction related heat, promptly burned myself.
I opened the lid.
On top, World War II commemorative stamps. These were mine from approximately 1991, and instinctively knew that they were not worth enough to mail a letter. Next, a peanut butter container filled with old coins, along with an appraisal sheet stating their value at a little under 300 bucks. Not bad.
And finally, there it lay. A pile of various shotgun shells and .22 rounds. The most valuable thing known to man, 'cause once the economy falls through, no one can afford utilities and we're back to the dark ages, the only thing a man is left to do is terrorize his neighborhood, shootin' 'n' lootin'.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm lazy
yeah, i went into another period of neglecting my blog. I've been kinda busy.
1)I've been working a few days a week. Breaking rules, closing pools. My new favorite situation is when a customer calls and says that their automatic cleaner isn't working properly. We go out, and of course, to their dismay, "of course it works when you're here!" We stand there and watch for it to go in circles, get stuck on the drain, only do the deep end, etc. but it never does. Because it's not broken. They just don't understand that it's random, so its not going to zip all over the pool picking up spots of dirt. You tell them this, and they swear it happens all the time. Then you point out how clean the pool is, and they go "oh, it works great, I love it, it just [reason they think it's broken]" and never seem to realize that they just exclaimed that it's not broken. Then I pretend to adjust something and tell them to call again if they notice it's not cleaning the pool.
2) My long-distance not-official girlfriend broke up with me...or whatever it is they do when it's not official. However, this continues the streak of girls I've been interested in who "don't want a boyfriend right now." I understand this is often code for "you're funny and cool to hang around, but after you have a few beers, the way you look at me kind of scares me. And you sweat a lot. A Lot," but obviously that's not always the case, as some of them let me...um...sweat on them. I wonder if it's me, or if I have some uncanny ability to spot girls who truely don't want relationships.
3)I bought an iPhone. It's pretty cool, but I miss coming home and going "I wonder if anyone e-mailed me?!" But now the excitement is gone. I already know that only Apple (wanting to sell me an ipod touch), my bank (with an exciting new offer/change in terms), and a J.D. Salinger mailserver I joined in college have tried to contact me.
um. that's all I can think of right now. Jacy should be home next week...I'm excited/terrified. It'll be the greatest thing that ever happened to me to have her living with me. It'll be hell when relatives come every night to "visit" aka sit around and force awkward conversation all night so I can't get shit done and/or drink heavily. Um, that's about all for now, although I have some funny conversations.
Aunt: "Now I don't want to nag you like your mom, but you haven't been drinking too much have you?"
Goody: "Oh, well yeah...but not anymore than usual."
Neighbor: "Let us know if you need anything"
Goody: "I think I'm fine, Jacy and Steve might like some meals when they move in."
Neighbor: "Ok, Whatever you need!"...starts to walk away..."is your lawn mower still working?"
...yeah, I guess I should take a hint and get on that. One more mow before snowfall should be fine, right?
1)I've been working a few days a week. Breaking rules, closing pools. My new favorite situation is when a customer calls and says that their automatic cleaner isn't working properly. We go out, and of course, to their dismay, "of course it works when you're here!" We stand there and watch for it to go in circles, get stuck on the drain, only do the deep end, etc. but it never does. Because it's not broken. They just don't understand that it's random, so its not going to zip all over the pool picking up spots of dirt. You tell them this, and they swear it happens all the time. Then you point out how clean the pool is, and they go "oh, it works great, I love it, it just [reason they think it's broken]" and never seem to realize that they just exclaimed that it's not broken. Then I pretend to adjust something and tell them to call again if they notice it's not cleaning the pool.
2) My long-distance not-official girlfriend broke up with me...or whatever it is they do when it's not official. However, this continues the streak of girls I've been interested in who "don't want a boyfriend right now." I understand this is often code for "you're funny and cool to hang around, but after you have a few beers, the way you look at me kind of scares me. And you sweat a lot. A Lot," but obviously that's not always the case, as some of them let me...um...sweat on them. I wonder if it's me, or if I have some uncanny ability to spot girls who truely don't want relationships.
3)I bought an iPhone. It's pretty cool, but I miss coming home and going "I wonder if anyone e-mailed me?!" But now the excitement is gone. I already know that only Apple (wanting to sell me an ipod touch), my bank (with an exciting new offer/change in terms), and a J.D. Salinger mailserver I joined in college have tried to contact me.
um. that's all I can think of right now. Jacy should be home next week...I'm excited/terrified. It'll be the greatest thing that ever happened to me to have her living with me. It'll be hell when relatives come every night to "visit" aka sit around and force awkward conversation all night so I can't get shit done and/or drink heavily. Um, that's about all for now, although I have some funny conversations.
Aunt: "Now I don't want to nag you like your mom, but you haven't been drinking too much have you?"
Goody: "Oh, well yeah...but not anymore than usual."
Neighbor: "Let us know if you need anything"
Goody: "I think I'm fine, Jacy and Steve might like some meals when they move in."
Neighbor: "Ok, Whatever you need!"...starts to walk away..."is your lawn mower still working?"
...yeah, I guess I should take a hint and get on that. One more mow before snowfall should be fine, right?
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