After never suspecting what Left was doing, Right suffered a near fatal blow earlier this evening while splitting kindling to get the coal stove fired up. Right was simply lending a hand, holding a piece of wood. Things had been moving rather quickly, with Jacy getting ready for bed, and Goody went against his better judgement of pausing to use the hatchet as a wedge with a hammer and carefully lined up the center of the 1.5" piece of oak, making sure Right tucked himself away as much as possible. Left, however, saw his opportunity and took it, hacking cleanly through a think clump of skin on Right's index finger, pausing for a second to emphasise the fact that the blade of the hatchet was now drawing a line through the curled digit.
Goody's reactions were mixed. While able to tolerate internet images of massive innards and gore, injuries to the hands have always bothered him. Upon withdrawing the hatchet, the initial inspection did not seem dire, until he peeled back the V-shaped flap to reveal striations of white indicating deep tissue. This lead him to believe that he should quickly make his way to the nearest hospital emergancy room, but quickly remembered that stitches could be installed hours after the cause, but a budding coal fire takes hours to rear, and the one he was building was catching on quick and would burn for days if properly managed. He then turned to his Boyscout/Rugby/Too drunk to seek medical attention medical training to clean and dress the slab. He realized that he had a full range of motion in the finger, and knew that this meant the had avoided damage to the ligiment/tendon portion of his finger. Furthermore, the tip of the finger had feeling, meaning the nerves had also remained intact. The blood loss was not overwhelming, and the tip has retained a healthy color, so bloodflow was also not hampered. These factors combined, he decided against a trip to the doctor, despite his newly gained health insurance. Besides, he would have had to look up if he was covered at Ephrata or Lititz, or if he would have to travel into Lancaster.
Released on his own recognizance, Left was unappologetic. "Let this serve as a warning," Left muttered. "Too long I've been stuck with all the taskwork: writing, drawing, all the fine motorwork, but as soon as something flashy comes along like throwing or opening a jar, Right comes barging in, finally deciding to quit lazing around in Goody's lap for a change."
Right, his index finger dressed in a loose gause wrap, declined to comment when asked if he planned to continue with his semi-ambidextrious ways.
Photo credit: Goody, who in a surprising move, decided to clean up the wound before retrieving his phone from the car.
1 comment:
When Lex gashed his finger in Bali by fiddling with his switchblade in his pocket, he treated it by rubbing mud and urine into the wound. Apparently years of studying biology brought him to this conclusion. He's an idiot, as you know.
I enjoy your musings. Keep thinking.
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