Dan Shaw the Cat.

Loki the cat spends about 23 hours a day under my sister's bed. The only reason I know it leaves is because every morning the litter box is full and the food dish is emptied, and it falls upon me (who did not want a cat) to reverse both situations. From time to time I catch Loki in the living room, usually around midnight when I go out to the kitchen for some water. He freezes, stares, and runs for cover.

Dan Shaw also sleeps about 23 hours a day, also usually not on a bed, but on a pile of dirty comforters and pillows strategically located an equidistant between a TV and air conditioner. He also sleeps all day, and will usually only be seen out of his nest when he's headed to the fridge or bathroom (this only occurring if all his old iced tea bottles have been filled with urine or dip spit.)

On second thought, I would like to apologize to cats, as they clean themselves and bury their bodily waste.