Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Cleaning Frenzy.

I'm going out of town for 4 days for Pool School. It's only really two, as I'm leaving Tues morning and getting back Friday evening.

However, for some reason I've been preparing for like two days for the excursion. I've never left my dwelling completely unattended for several days, I've always had a roommate or someone who would be there.

Before I could abandon my abode, for some reason I had to do the dishes. Between stealing from Wismer Cafeteria for four years and my mom giving me the dishes my dad's parents gave to her, I have enough place settings that I could use a different set for three meals a day for a week and not have to do dishes. I have enough pots and pans to cook these meals, thanks to my mom and aunt giving me pots and pans, as well as my newly acquired plunder from helping my buddy Vance move some stuff (I will gladly come help anyone carry stuff, no problems. However, I will always express interest in something not being used, and the person I'm helping out will feel compelled to offer it as a sign of gratitude. This is also how I got my knife set from Jonboy. I'll want some beers too.)
So in short, there was no way in hell those dishes would've been done before the weekend, but for some reason, I could not stand the thought of them being here dirty and alone.

I also brought in my snowshovel, broom and the rugby water cooler in from the porch. The cooler is a waste of time, money, and space anyway, as I've rapidly discovered that 25 high school girls do not drink 5 gallons of water in a two hour period, especially when a) some bring their own water b) we rarely give them water breaks c) if they do get a water break, I spend it yelling "back here in 60 seconds...hustle! hustle! hustle!
All three have been outside for the taking ever since I moved in, but they were at least semi-attended.

I also had to eat everything in the fridge that could possibly spoil. This took some planning, as I'm trying to quit being fat. Normally I don't average 4 eggs a day and it would've taken me about 3 more weeks to finish the carton, but those eggs might turn without me here. Same with the cheese. Luckily they go well together. The leftover tomato sauce needed a separate dish, but cheese goes with that too.

I threw away the eggnog (even though we went out of the way to buy eggnog last week, for some reason Sean and I just drank rum and coke) and potatoes with kidney beans (due to the fact that my proportions were off and it was 85% kidney bean), but haven't taken out the trash, as I may have to throw something away in the morning. However, as I am getting picked up at 7:30, I will obviously forget to take out the trash, leaving the eggnog, egg shells, and kidney beans to decay at their own rate and making my consumption of the perishables negligible.

I just realized I probably shouldn't be advertising on the web that I'll be gone from Tuesday morning until Friday evening, but I'm taking the laptop with me, so there's really nothing of value here, minus the 12 year old tv that will be obsolete before you know it. But yeah, if for some reason you do feel compelled to break into my house (just you try, I've closed all the blinds for added security!), could you please take out the trash if your arms aren't too full with the cooler, broom and shovel?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, where's my comment I left last week??? I'll bet you erased it. It said I was amazed that your blog wasn't clogged with comments. Don't your friends know the second coming when they see it???

PS If you're REALLY intent on cleaning, come home and pick up the dandy Hoover I bought you!

Lex Pelger said...

excellent. another blog focused on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. enjoy your trip. dale and I plan to break in twice to steal liquor and make sean lie about it to his parents.

lotz said...

How the hell are you going to break in if you are in India?